Can't I Just Go Home?

Wow! It's been almost a month since my last post. Either I'm extremely busy or I'm running out of material. Hmmm... luckily, I managed to have another brain dropping (RIP, George Carlin) thanks to Independence Day.

I was one of the lucky few scheduled to work on July 4th at the media mecca where I'm employed. The store, which normally closes at 11 pm on Fridays, was closing at 7 pm for the holiday, and my shift was noon to close. I clocked in at 11:59 on the dot (punctual as ever, that's me!), walked out to the front of the store, and asked myself, "What the hell am I doing here?" It was a beautiful summer day -- the storybook July 4th, a perfect day to spend watching the local parade, swimming at the beach or doing yard work. Needless to say, the store was empty. Of the eight people in the store, six of us were being paid (barely) to be there. Perhaps the other two were looking for soundtrack music for their amateur fireworks display? Whatever their situation, I felt sorry for them. There's something very lonely about someone spending a holiday in a store when they should be spending time with friends and family. At least it wasn't Thanksgiving. The best, though, was yet to come. Normally, we spend fifteen minutes or half an hour after the store closes straightening the bookshelves and replacing merchandise. Not that night. The manager was determined to get us out that day no later than 7:05. There were no customers between 6:30 and 7:00, so we were looking good and all set to make a clean getaway. Not so fast! Sure enough, as we're getting ready to walk out the door, someone is approaching from outside. The manager pointed to the sign, which displayed the holiday hours plain as day. The potential customer gives him a dirty look, shakes his head, and gets back in the car. Of course, this raised a few questions in my mind:

1. We work in a bookstore. What book, movie, or CD could possibly have been so important that this fellow felt the necessity to get it on July 4th? Why couldn't it wait until, say 9:01 am on July 5th?

2. Why wait until 7:00 pm on July 4th? Why not make this critical purchase at 9:01 am on July 4th? Or better yet, 9:01 am on July 3rd?

3. Why wasn't this person in his back yard enjoying a barbecued hot dog and a beer and getting his kids ready to go watch some fireworks?

Assuming the customer in question is a normal, well-adjusted individual with a steady 9-5 job and his own desk and secretary, I wonder how he would react if I called his office at 4:49 pm on a Friday afternoon. See, I've been on the receiving end of that. I've been at that desk, primed and ready for the weekend, counting down the seconds until I can make a mad dash out the door. Sure enough, the phone rings because someone has no sense of time management. They realized right then that this phone call must be made RIGHT NOW. To hell with anyone else involved, to hell with their personal plans, to hell with that train leaving the station in fifteen minutes when the next one doesn't leave for another half hour after that, to hell with common courtesy.

Inconsiderate swine.